If is good...

"If? If is good..." Panic, from Disney's Hercules.

To paraphrase the jumble of disjointed thoughts that threaten to overcome my now disproven sense of logic: If I could maybe stop being weird for five minutes, everything would be fine.

If I could just let go of twenty odd years of neuroses build-up and allow myself a fresh start, maybe, just maybe I could act like a normal human being in the face of what could be a normal conversation that I, in my screwed up present self, refuse to listen to.
You're right, I make no sense. I don't get it myself either. The only thing I get right now is that I am a bumbling idiot who should be tied to a log buried in chest deep seawater until she was finally honest enough to admit defeat and have the sense to swim back to shore.
If I could just shut up and listen, sidestep the prescribed girl melodrama and just BE, I'd avoid all this unnecessary blogging at one in the morning.
If I wasn't so damned stubborn sometimes, I could be onto something worth being temporarily illogical for.

If I smile at the fates and offer them afternoon tea, would they accept the invite?

If I got down on my knees to pray tonight, would my creator understand that I'm trying, really trying, to get the lesson (and courtesy laughs) hidden in this hilarious scene.?

If...If is good.