Drew Carey Quote

Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

So true.

My old company used to bank on morale to retain her employees, pretty much because other companies offer much higher pay and better benefits. The management team had to be in charge of helping keep their agents' sanities intact, and because of all the pressure from higher management and from their own teams, they had to find vent by making the term "work-life balance" actually mean something. I was part of a group that we used to fondly call "Skul Bukul", which basically met up once a week to exclusively criticize (even ridicule) the shit that stinks the most at the workplace, over akopol op beers.

There's none of that where I'm at now.

So now that my support group is gone, I suddenly felt the void and found its effect on me about two weeks ago while I was in front of the mirror--my first grey hair (and my parents' and grandparents' first grey hairs only appeared when they were in their sixties, and I'm only 27!).

I don't wanna wait for my first wrinkle to appear before I demand for intervention. Where did EVERYBODY go???

The path to Inebriation

something I dug up. enjoy.

The path to inebriation….
"I am going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight" -anon
The capacity to drink oneself into a blind stupor is something I have yet to do…not for a lack of imbibing but rather the possible reluctance to completely lose self control and possibly end up in a ditch somewhere.
The call of catatonia is getting stronger and although I am distracting myself with mindless pursuits I realize that sooner or later I will crack - and it won’t be pretty. Thus the desire to drink myself blind tonight. I theorize that getting juiced and passing out is far far better than cracking in broad daylight and humiliating yourself in front of pseudo friends by declaring how you really percieve the shallow workings of their judgmental worlds and how, sadly, you have fallen back into the rut that you have just thought yourself out of (ie having warm fuzzy feelings for another human being outside of your gene pool) and that things are not going well in the control and planning department. You are stumped. And you are going to stop blogging now and actually get off your ass and find that drink.
You consider me alcoholic? That my friend, is a matter of perception. I consider myself a whole many things right now.
Cheers.

If is good...

"If? If is good..." Panic, from Disney's Hercules.

To paraphrase the jumble of disjointed thoughts that threaten to overcome my now disproven sense of logic: If I could maybe stop being weird for five minutes, everything would be fine.

If I could just let go of twenty odd years of neuroses build-up and allow myself a fresh start, maybe, just maybe I could act like a normal human being in the face of what could be a normal conversation that I, in my screwed up present self, refuse to listen to.
You're right, I make no sense. I don't get it myself either. The only thing I get right now is that I am a bumbling idiot who should be tied to a log buried in chest deep seawater until she was finally honest enough to admit defeat and have the sense to swim back to shore.
If I could just shut up and listen, sidestep the prescribed girl melodrama and just BE, I'd avoid all this unnecessary blogging at one in the morning.
If I wasn't so damned stubborn sometimes, I could be onto something worth being temporarily illogical for.

If I smile at the fates and offer them afternoon tea, would they accept the invite?

If I got down on my knees to pray tonight, would my creator understand that I'm trying, really trying, to get the lesson (and courtesy laughs) hidden in this hilarious scene.?

If...If is good.

21 Lines I Borrow From Cartoons

1. If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all. (Thumper, Bambi)

2. “Family” means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten. (Lilo, Lilo & Stitch)

3. I’m normally not a religious man, but if you’re up there, save me, Superman! (Homer, The Simpsons)

4. How dare you take advantage of my blithering idiot! (Ren, Ren & Stimpy)5. Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity. (Shrek, Shrek 2)

6. I’m not fat. It’s all this hair. It makes me look puffy. (Manny, Ice Age)

7. There’s no monster in your closet Boo, I promise. (Sulley, Monsters, Inc.)

8. I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way. (Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

9. Your shallowness is so shallow, that it’s depth. (Daria, Daria)

10. Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it to your heart, and trusting them not to pull the trigger. (Spongebob, Spongebob Squarepants)

11. “Diet” is “die” with a “t”. (Garfield, Garfield and Friends)

12. Oh well, back to the drawing board. (Marvin the Martian, Looney Toons)

13. Let’s drink til we don’t feel feelings anymore. (Peter, Family Guy)

14. “If”? “If” is good… (Panic, Hercules)

15. Put your behind in the past. (Pumbaa, Lion King)

16. Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. I’m a living example. Beefcake! Beefcake! (Cartman, South Park)

17. Stop in the name of all that which does not suck! (Butthead, Beavis and Butthead)

18. Accepting my own errors, the team needs balance. Balance, yes. Therefore, to successfully take over the world, a sacrifice must be made. One of us must be an imbecile. (Brain, Pinky and the Brain)

19. I must not fear! Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. (Peter, Earthworm Jim)

20. Not now, Peter, I'm laughing at Fate. (Jim, Earthworm Jim)

21. ...And I shall rule the world! (Plankton, Spongebob Squarepants)


Also posted at http://www.furballchronicles.blogspot.com/

Good Riddance, 2008!

It was the unluckiest year of my life, and I sure hope 2009 will be much better. Where are the damn vodkas?!?

Blooferlady's Response to Going Ice Queen

Just keep an eye out for the ones who are taken, please, lest we have the budget for vodkas every night. Mwehehe.

Side comment: keep a safe distance (a five-mile radius will do). Seriously, they're dangerous people. When on the red zone, again, follow old Eraserheads credo: shake yer head and walk away.

Going Ice Queen hurts everytime

So I'm sitting there feeling slightly elated over the news that someone was possibly attracted to me.... when it hits me - I'm now possibly attracted to him because of his attraction to me. And then another thing hits me - I'm back to that very dangerous point where I just may be tempted to be idiotic and go beyond the "you may look but not touch" borders.
In the span of time that it takes for twenty-four frames to cross the screen, I crossed over to the bittersweet realization that I now had to retreat behind my jaded walls of not giving a rats ass over anyone. I had to go ice queen mode lest a harmless infatuation turn into another black hole of drunken nights wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
So there I was, now at the point where I had to say a mental goodbye to something that could have been, simply because it could not ever be. He was, after all, engaged.

Guide back to apathy

Woodbeetle's Guide Back to Apathy:
1. When feeling unlovable, ugly and insignificant - call up a friend:
Literal lifelines are what they are during these times. They will remind you that you are allowed to wallow in your mudhole of self-pity but that you are still beautiful, worthy of proper love and one helluva catch that the miserable loser, whoever he is, allowed to get away.
2. When emotions threaten to drown your capacity for flippant apathy:
Put down the menthols, stop the hunger strike and take a swig of that Jack Daniels bottle next to you. Dying of malnutrition will not help you get back into the swing of things. Numbing the memory cells though, will help you live through a few more hours of undefinable pain.
3. When all else fails and your emotions refuse to disappear:
Allow yourself to be an attention whore. Give it an hour or two. You will soon tire of it - trust me. And with boredom comes apathy. Luv it!

Blooferlady's Guide To Apathy:
1. Vodka or coffee with the ladies. Gossiping about other people and mocking The System is the best distraction.
2. Soundtripping. *Note: This varies with your current state of mind. Blooferlady has found that Bob Marley is the ultimate cure to depression--DON'T ever listen to Sugarfree's Dramachine, Blooferlady shits you not. When je-je-jaded, Billie Holiday, Sitti Navarro, and Bessie Smith. When enraged, the noisier the better (recommended bands: Korn, Rage Against the Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers).
3. Follow old Eraserheads credo: Shake your head and walk away. *Addendum: Sometimes it's more effective if you scratch your head and blurt out "tanginang yan..." under your breath at the same time. Source: Don Vincent Celis.
4. Sleep and couch til next week.

Response to ultimate break-up songs

Woodbeetle is still chuckling over the ultimate break-up songs. She is heavily indebted to the Pinoy (Pinay?) versions of Volare and Wannabe for making her laugh despite her being sick and her current state of self-imposed apathy over possible loss of muse.
Woodbeetle desperately needs a double vodka mix with the ladies....

The Ultimate Break Up Songs

Ladies, I found mine...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSPibeE4X8s

And when I'm done with my 5th double Kurant 7...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdjuuswnfDM

And when I get to my Nth (and business cards are in order)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVrIV4SkXYY&feature=related

And when whatever tryst with what's-his-name becomes complicated, as all watchamacallits tend to turn out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUNJvsr8k8g

Note: Also posted at http://www.furballchronicles.blogspot.com/

Long hair

Blooferlady:

At one point or the other, women have had that “magical” tingle-slash-thrill over the start of new relationships. Correction: could-be-relationships. The most exhilarating of all (and the most ego-boosting) is when a random Oh-my-God-he’s-so-hot guy comes up to you at a bar to ask for your phone number at the most unexpected of moments.

I was lucky enough to have had that sort of experience while I was out with girlfriends (while bitching about a recent big bad break up), and I couldn’t sum up the experience better than: sheeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttt!!!!

It doesn’t even piss me off that the guy never actually called. I’m not really into the rebound thing anyway. I’m just happy to realize that my “market value”, despite the fact that I’ve aged and gained weight over the past how many years, hadn’t decreased, despite life.

It’s nice to be “out there” in a way.

Now I just need to develop the skill of turning off that nagging heart ache at will.

Woodbeetle:

To be honest, women need the ego boost every now and then, just as much as men do. To quote Blooferlady, that “magical tingle-slash-thrill” never ceases to make me smile; when I allow it to come my way, that is. And despite the fact that the “kilig” moment may not go anywhere, we actively look for it when we feel insecure, bored, jaded or are newly single.

What’s dangerous is when we mistake the flirtation for something possibly more than what it really is. When we feel like we’ve met our match and are challenged by certain charismatic individuals (read: pigs masquerading as men who want you for what seems to be more than one night of passion), we are in danger of slipping down the slippery slope to, well, er, infatuation. One must guard against this deplorable weakness lest it turn one into an over-analyzing, nihilistic, jaded idiot (read: me, right now).

LadyRain:

Key is to just enjoy the moments when they happen. Avoid reading too much into them. Take pleasure in the fact that you are free, beautiful and free to be extra gorgeous.

The big M-word

Woodbeetle:

There are always three people in a marriage. From the moment they say their "I do's" until death or divorce do them part, the couple will always have the shadow of that third party to contend with. And by third party I mean the state.

Blooferlady:

Not to mention the church. And the families, in the Filipino setting. It's a circus out there.

Excerpt from one of Ally McBeal's closing speeches:

"Love in itself is insane. 'He's mad about her.' 'She's crazy about him.' 'He's fallen ass over tea kettle.' What does that expression even mean, 'ass over tea kettle'? It's nonsensical!

...But once you take vows... We start taking it seriously. Once love turns into a marriage, it becomes an institution."

Legal bonds. Compromising. Asset-sharing. Vows. Lifetime commitment. Fidelity. The right of the spouse to fuck you anytime, anywhere, regardless of how you feel about it. The right of the spouse to demand to produce heirs, again, regardless of how you feel about it. The whole thing is a circus. I'm sorry, but at this moment in time, I don't wanna be a freak. Not yet, at least.

LadyRain:

And I seriously do not get why married relatives are worried about us being free and happily single. I do not understand how they could complain about their spouses, and their married lives and yet when they start talking about us, they put on this all-concerned, sorry faces. Seriously.

Woodbeetle:
Pucha. Amen. Wala na akong masabi. Everybody love everybody.


Blooferlady:

But don't get me wrong. If two people are seeing eye to eye, and they see all this, and decide to get married anyway, I think it's awesome.

Okay, romanticism stops here. Back to being cynical. Punyeta silang lahat, lahat ng mga namre-mressure saken to get married now na (on the premise that the biological clock is ticking and all that blah).

LadyRain:

The answer to that biological-clock-is-ticking premise is technology. And of course, money. I'd rather spend millions on that if I really want to, than see myself trapped in a legal agreement forever. And I mean, no-way-out foreverrrr!

Riddle Me These

I find these funny (funny-strange and/or funny-haha). Comments welcome.

Women go to the washroom in packs. (This may very well be proof enough—I may be male.)

People’s sensitivity chips conk out when they feel they have to comment on your appearance. The greeting I hate the most: Tumataba ka…!?

Tipsy people when going to the washroom to pee do the I-can-walk walk.

The Philippines will be run by President Noli De Castro, Vice President Bong Revilla, Jr. or Vilma Santos or JV Ejercito, and most of my countrymen will be so happy about the case and that the sector who will be vehemently against the mere thought won’t be voting at all.

You can liken watching drunks to watching Bambi learning how to walk, or stand up.

Every driver on a highway is convinced that every other driver on that same highway is an idiot.

All subordinates reporting to lenient supervisors are aggressive whiners.

Cats don’t turn their heads around when you call their name. Just like teenagers.
Everybody condescendingly understands-and-is-annoyed-by-people who use the following excuse: I’m in love. (How can you argue with that?)

There are situations in life wherein scratching/shaking your head is the only way to pacify yourself. There are people who illicit this exact same reaction from others as well.
Most irate customers are stupid.

For every couple in a relationship, the man’s job is to be the headache, and the woman has to do the incessant nit-picking. I’m amazed at how some marriages even work.

Life has a natural way of making couples adapt to their marriages. We lose our sense of hearing so we could block out the nagging and all the noise the other makes, and in turn, the others become forgetful.

As women grow older, life leaves them with harsher perspectives of younger women. (The war is on between the teenagers, the twenty-somethings, and the thirty-somethings!)

The number one rule in suburban competition: It’s never a test of skills, but of who wants it more.

Internationality

Men are dangerous mammals in general. Throw in above average good looks, charisma and some game and you've got a lean, mean wooing machine.
Allow me to use three nationalities as examples.
Greeks, mestizo Spaniards and Indians seem to have something in common - their beautiful deep set eyes and their charm. (Before you rise up in arms, I will state that Filipino men have these attributes regardless of whatever. It is a given and including them would make all this sound redundant.)
Yes, their women are attractive, but right now, it's the men I want to focus on.
So far, and from what I've seen anyway, the men of these countries have a strong sense of self, are quick to bring out the charm in whatever form they deem useful at the time, and know, just innately know that they are irresistable.
And its not just the looks mind you, it's their take no prisoners approach to wooing the womenfolk - whether by sugar laden outright flattery, shock treatment bordering on obnoxiousness or a raw display of their many, many "talents" - these guys will make sure they get the intended results. That is of course, undivided attention bordering on adoration and possibly, if things went well, a hook up for the evening.
Women within a ten foot radius are reduced to simpering, jelly like beings.
Author excluded - which is not to say that I do not appreciate the occasional charming sentence thrown my way - hey, only human!
One should be careful when handling men of this nature...blessed with good looks, innate charm and charisma, they make for wonderful adversaries who should be treated as one would a mousetrap - inspect it, have a bit of a sniff of the bait, and then walk around it and away.

Heat in the tropics

It's so hot outside that I've taken to actually sitting inside cafes instead of taking the usual outdoor table...
I think the heat makes people do strange things...and I'm now referring to more than one type of heat. People are more prone to shed unnecessary clothing in this weather. And that makes for (especially at the beach) fun people watching for both the ladies and gents. Happy happy joy joy surfer boys.
I end by quoting Will in Semi-Pro "Lets get Tropical!!!"

A Zafra moment

I'm taking it as a good sign that I almost physically bumped into Jessica Zafra at the mall today... but worrying that I didn't realize it was her until she passed me by.
I should stop reading too much into these random encounters.

Critics circle

Writers - we're a critical bunch, aren't we?

The Best Things in Life are Over

Blooferlady:
Sometimes I get the feeling that I was born in the wrong era. I was born in 1981, and somehow, I missed out on the best things in life, namely:

The Sixties. The era of the hippies and their comfortable chic fashion, the age of flower power and strangely enough political oblivion at the same time. This was also when sex was just an emphatic way of saying hello (we really should honor tradition and practice this ritual more often, ladies, in response to Woodbeetle's Gender Discrimination post)

The Eraserheads and The Beatles. The music icons who aptly write your theme songs. They have the ability to put all your hang ups, heartbreaks, frustrations, dreams and plans into music and carefully chosen words.

Friends, Ally McBeal, The Wonder Years, Perfect Strangers, Murphy Brown, Boy Meets World, Cheers, Who's the Boss, etc. It's over. Ít's all oveeer!!! God damn it.

Bar None. Why they stopped selling Bar None's, I have no idea, but whoever was behind its untimely demise should go to jail for killing it.

Woodbeetle:
I somehow suddenly hate you for mentioning the flower power and casual sex era...it depresses me to think that were we born in the western hemisphere during the sixties that we would have had access to quality vintage peasant blouses and guilt free sex.

Gender discrimination on casual sex

Why culturally, people will think that a girl is on the losing end if she decides to go down the path of casual relationships

It has been embedded in our consciousness since childhood that a girl should keep her purity intact until her wedding day. We now forgive the modern gal for engaging in pre-marital sex with her current beau as it is now commonplace and something most couples engage in anyway. But the story takes a different turn when we hear of a girl who is not in a serious relationship but opts instead to have the male friend with benefits. In colloquial terms, a fubu.
Call it what you will, but it stands that society still sadly frowns on this behavior if it is carried on by a woman. Warm blooded men who practice the art of fubu are forgiven. Gay men are forgiven as well as they are actually expected to be loose and promiscuous (no offence to the gay community meant as this fact was stated by a gay friend).
Women sneer at their own gender when they hear of such goings on but turn a blind eye when the males engage in casual sex. Unenlightened men view them as little more than tramps they’d like a taste of.
A gay friend of mine who has his own special friend, also surprisingly holds on to the belief that the girl is at the losing end of the deal. When asked why, he stated that girls, on top of being the ones who are expected to be pure, are more prone to becoming emotionally attached to their “special buddies”. He went on to explain that if the girl fell in love, and it didn’t work out the way she hoped, she was in jeopardy of losing her heart over a relationship that was intended to be purely physical in nature. In the end, she didn’t so much as lose physically, but more emotionally.

The incomparable year that was...

Woodbeetle:

With the close of 2007 upon us, I know things will have to change with the new year.

Its been one of the most "action packed" and life changing of years for me, LadyRain and BlooferLady. I know I can't stop change...but allow me to indulge myself with a sober walk down memory lane. Don't worry...I'm sticking to the non-earth shattering parts. I'd like to immortalize some of less memorable shenanigans just so I can one day, look back and say "Damn, that was a great year...I'm glad I had those two with me".

Here's to driving around town at 2am looking for a place to drink without running into officemates - and somehow still ending up at Makati Rep by 4am.
To playing wingman for each other - through beers, grandmothers, periods and for embarrassinly better or for worse :)
To getting to the seaside area too late and being harrassed by drunk waiters and bar boys closing up shop - and running back to the car like frightened prudes.
To sitting at The Fort sidewalk with a couple of beers and a laptop weaving ingenious solutions to every conceivable situation that we could face or were facing - and never really following our own advice.
To running to the fourth floor for a smoke when things got too toxic upstairs, one of us got kicked in the gut, had a foot shoved in our doors or had our lives altered by our personal and career decisions.
To Sunday afternoon coffees, foodfests and art movies - no matter what time our shifts started or ended! Yebah!
To griping about life and finding more about it through endless nights of liempo, vodka, and caffeine.
To sitting in the parking lot outside a hip bar after work, bumping into gorgeous guys - and feeling wretched that we didn't do anything about it.
To road trips we took together and apart - and to those we never took due to being broke or just plain being lazy.
To salivating over buff waiters moving furniture at closing time.
To running away to the beach - and realizing gay guys have all the luck. Ahahahaha.
To covering for each other when the world got way too close and nosy....
To playing hooky just to drink together.
To stupidly (and in a mostly inabriated state) laughing at everyone and everything no matter how bad things looked - coz we knew we were going to be alright.

Here's to the year that was...I wouldn't change it for the world.

Blooferlady:

Kampai to all that Woodbeetle! I just wanted to add a couple more though:

To the "wrong mistakes" in accidentally conveying totally different messages from their actual "consex", such as jaw movement burning calories and referring to bees as dragonflies or whatever.

To the many nights-slash-mornings spent at a diner where most of the "wrong mistakes" were born.

To SpiderPig!!! Yehbah!

To pedicures and foot spas.

...And a million other things.

May 2008 be a good year!

LadyRain:

Cheers to all the 1-million dollar ideas!

To all the things we believed in and were so sure about and finding out the next day they weren't all that. Just simply amusing at that time for whatever reason (alcohol, too much stress, purely contagious optimism, etc). To just laughing and shaking our heads about them...

To finally growing up and appreciating friends who are true.

To 2008... may it be full of fun, excitement, men (if possible?), new adventures and more 1-million dollar ideas... hopefully we know better this time!